When she wore the Seeker's sweater
by clanmei
Summary: He couldn't understand why Lily Evans, Queen of I-won't-date-James-Potter World, was standing in the Gryffindor stands wearing one of his old sweaters that said 'Potter'.Her lips were a drug to him and the first taste gave him an instant high.Ch3 Pre: AN
1. To fall all over again

_Summary_: He couldn't be blamed for losing focus. Definitely not. For the life of him, he couldn't understand why Lily Evans, Queen of I-won't-ever-go-out-with-James-Potter World, was standing in the Gryffindor stands wearing one of _his _old sweaters that said _Potter._

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**When she wore the Seeker's sweater**

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**1. To fall all over again**

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><p>James Potter was a mess. A. Big. Bloody. Mess. He was searching for the snitch, trying to ignore the reproaches of his team mates ("What the fuck, Potter? Are you really you? Or is it some twit who polyjuiced you" "James, in case you failed to notice in seven years of your quidditch, you are suppose to be flying behind the snitch" or the wordless, yet most effective sign by Sirius who aimed a bludger right at him). But none of them understood his misery. Screw the match against Slytherin. Screw the bloody quidditch cup. Err…Actually he'd rather take it back. Don't screw the quidditch cup. But how could anyone <em>possibly <em>expect James Potter to concentrate when the love of his life, the girl of his dreams, the angel who he worshiped, the lady who made his heart flutter, the girl who totally gave him unholy and wicked thoughts, the woman…erm, you get the point…

Lily Marie Evans was standing in the quidditch stands, in the front row, looking ever so beautiful wearing _his _old red sweater that said "Potter" at the front and back. Her red hair was tied into a half bun and lose strands blew gracefully against the wind.

She hated him. He was sure of it, now more than ever. Why else would she do the one thing that _absolutely _assured his distraction?

"_Lily Evans is wearing my sweater. Lily is wearing my sweater with my name on it. Lily Flower is wearing my sweater with my name on it, in front of the whole bloody school. Lily Evans is dressed in a garment that has Potter written in it. Potter...Lily Evans…Sweater…My Sweater…Lily…Lily Potter… Oh fuck!"_

James narrowly missed a bludger. His eyes drifted towards Sirius and the Slytherin Beater both of whom seemed to be at the verge of getting off their brooms to engage in a muggle fight mid-air.

"Potter!" his captain yelled "Get your ass back in the game. If you don't catch the snitch, I'll personally…" But James couldn't hear what his captain would do if he didn't catch the snitch (which was a very likely possibility) because at the precise moment he made the mistake of looking at Lily again.

She had her mouth in a little 'o'. Her small hands softly perched upon her chest, one on top of the other and her eyes fixed on him in…_worry? Lily Evans _was _worried _about _him? _Well, just kill him now and be done with it!

"Oh fuck" he swore out aloud this time, having been caught off guard by another bludger that did actually hit him. Hard. He lost control of his broom and found himself pushed to another direction…which just happened to be the Gryffindor stands. Why? Why? Why? Why? Did Lily have to take the front row today when she was wearing _his sweater _that had_ Potter _written front and back_…wait…front? That meant it covered her…_ Holy Godric! He couldn't even find a trace of a t-shirt inside so that meant…well at least she must be wearing a bra covering those soft breasts… Great! Now he could picture Lily in bra… and another image of Lily almost without it… Fuck! His old sweater was touching Lily Evans' skin…her smooth creamy, ever so soft looking…

"James!" a sweet voice broke his stupor. And sure enough the voice belonged to the girl who was an inch away from killing him or worse, making him lose the match.

"James, the match!" her sweet voice urged again.

The match! He frantically looked around to find that he had been standing in front of Lily for god knows how long, right in the middle of a quidditch match for which _he was the seeker, for crying out loud ! ARGH!_

He glared at Lily. Yes, James Potter glared at Lily Evans. She was torturing him. The woman was working for Voldemort. He was sure. Her mission was to bring James Potter down. Make him lose his sanity. So he glared at her, with every ounce of glare he could manage. Then next instant however his expression vanished looking at Lily's face. Her eyebrows were knit in an innocent question. She was biting her lower lip softly, looking so ….adorable that he instantly felt guilty of glaring at an innocent, soft, delicate creature like her.

"James, look out!" her expression changed to that of horror. Her arm was frantically pointing behind him.

James turned around and swiftly moved again to avoid another bludger, missing it by a hair's breath. _Phew!_

"James. The snitch!" Her sweet, hurried voice came again. She was frantically pointing above him this time.

Geez, was Lily going to tell him what to do, the whole match!

The buzzing sound of the snitch caught his mind strings. He looked at Lily for another second. Her big green eyes sparkling in the sun and soft red lips curved into … was it a _smile?_

James Potter loved Lily Evans.

James Potter Loved Quidditch.

But when Lily Evans told James Potter to catch the snitch then no one, absolutely _no one _could ever stand in his way.

The next instant he had turned his broom and zoomed right behind the snitch, drawing the attention of the entire field. The Gryffindor's broke into a frenzy and cheered him on, ecstatic to have their seeker back in the game, _finally!_

"Lily" giggled Isa. "You totally drove him crazy!" she whispered in her friend's ears as the Gryffindor's continued to cheer loudly.

Lily couldn't help herself and burst out laughing with Isa.

James was flying behind the snitch with a skill that could only be accomplished after years of practice. His lean form bent low on the broom, eyes focused on the golden ball.

"You're drooling, Lily." snickered Isa.

"W…what? No! Am not!"

"Oh! Come on, girl! Enough with the d..."

The crowd burst into another wave of screams. The two girls turned their heads to see both the seekers zooming behind what could only be the snitch. They were flying at a dangerous rate with sharp turns and maneuvers. Lily's heart beat faster as James flew right towards the Ravenclaw stands. Oh God! Did he even realize he would crash?

The Slytherin seeker began to get hesitant. The snitch rode towards the stands with a single-minded intent and James rode behind it with the same emotion. The Slytherin seeker cowered at the last instant, clearly terrified of the crash that was bound to happen.

Lily clutched her heart. Her eyes were wide open and she stopped breathing entirely. _Oh god! Oh God! James!_

He stretched his arm towards the nasty little golden ball, balancing his fast paced broom with one hand. He leaned forward, pressing his entire weight ahead and enclosed the fluttering snitch in his. The very next instant he reversed his body weight backwards and managed to halt just an inch away from the stands.

The Gryffindors erupted in a deafening cheer. They had won. Even after the Seeker's exceptionally odd behavior, the said seeker had saved the day(and his ass from the captain!)

His face broke into his signature adorable smile. He felt his team mates flying closer to congratulate him and the commenter announcing their victory vigorously. But his eyes scanned through the crowd in search of only one face…as always. After every single match James had ever played and after every single snitch he caught, which he did always, his eyes would move towards the only girl he'd ever loved as if the snitch was a gift, a tribute to her.

And every time he looked, he would be greeted with frowns and scowls, half hearted applauds that were generally for Gryffindor winning or a blank look with the applause like last year.

But what he saw this year made him lose his breath and his heart all over again. Never had he felt this ecstatic after a match. He knew he would remember this sight for the rest of his life.

_The sight of his beautiful Lily Marie Evans, wearing his old sweater that said 'Potter' back and front, smiling at him._

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"Merlin, Wormtail if you panic like this, you _will _get us caught!" said Sirius as they made their way to the kitchens.

"Seven years of doing this and your still shivering like a first year!" added James.

"Seven years of doing this and you both still can't keep your voices down!" said Remus, rolling his eyes.

Sirius was about to reply when they heard girlish voices echoing from behind the kitchen doors.

"So" came a voice for which Sirius mumbled 'Isa'. "Did you enjoy today's match, Lily?" They could practically hear the smug look on Isa's face.

"Yes" came Lily's short reply.

"And did you enjoy watching James Potter clad in quidditch robes?"

"W…what? How? No!" Lily stuttered, indignantly.

She looked at Isa with part glare, part guilt and part curiosity.

"It's much too obvious. Every match you stare only at James and you do this without any restrain because obviously no one would notice. People _are _going to look at the seeker, after all"

"So? Everyone can look and I can't?"

James' eyes went wide open. He looked at friends who mirrored his shocked expression. Had Lily just wondered why she couldn't voluntarily look at James?

"Oh but _Red" _continued Isa in an unrealistic imitation of James' drawl. "Everyone was not mentally undressing the seeker. Everyone, with the exception of the airheads from James Potter's Fan club who, by the way, were totally glaring daggers at you, was not fantasizing about oh-so-hot-James-in-quidditch-uniform doing positively wicked things with his _wand_ if you know what I mean. Everyone was not wondering how it would feel to have him insi…"

"Isadora !" Lily yelled in horror.

James thought he was going to faint. Lily Evans, the perfect holy angel wanted to check out his _wand? _Dear Merlin! He was sweating. His _wand _was clearly reacting in a way he wouldn't have preferred it to react in front of his friends who, were just as shocked as he was and in Sirius' case, particularly smug.

Isa snickered and nudged Lily suggestively.

"Come on now _Lily flower_" she continued in her annoyingly teasing voice. "It's just me. You can…"

There was a whooshing sound and Peeves, that little bugger, chose that precise moment to float across, cackling madly about catching some 6th years "dawdling their tongues in the wee hours", making the 'wee' awfully elongated and loud.

"What was that? Shit, Isa I told you to keep your voice down!" came Lily's voice.

"Sounds like Peeves to me"

"I don't care. We're going to get caught"

Speaking of getting caught, thought Remus. They had been standing outside the kitchen, clearly after hours. Shouldn't they be worried too? He looked at his fellow Marauders who, apparently had thought of the same thing and scrambled inside the kitchen the very next instant.

The girls squeaked, jumping out of their seats and stood clutching each other, terrified. They looked with eyes wide open at the four fallen Marauders.

"Red! Isie!" drawled Sirius with such confidence as though lying on the floor on top of two other guys, limbs tangled and all, and greeting two startled girls with names that made them instantly mad, was the most charming thing to do.

"Black!" squeaked Isa angrily. "What are you guys doing here? Were you eaves dropping?"

"As flattered as it might make you feel to know that we'd come all the way to listen to girl-talk, I'd have to say no. Though we did hear some…oww Prongs, what the fuck! What was that for!" Sirius swore, clutching his throbbing ankle.

"We came to get something to eat." Remus covered up, quickly.

"Eat? Didn't you guys have an after-party right now?" asked Lily.

"Yeah. It's all over now. We only had drinks, anyways." replied Remus, picking himself up from the mess of the tangled bodies of his friends.

"Master James!" "Master Sirius!" "Master Remus!" "Master Peter!" came the voices of half a dozen house elves who made their way to greet the Marauders excitedly as if they were a long lost family in a the middle of being reunited.

"Hey midgets" said Sirius gleefully, giving high-fives to a couple of elves.

"What can we get to Masters?"

The four gave their orders without hesitation in a manner of regulars ordering at a bar. So much for being a lost family!

The six Gryffindor's sat across a table enjoying the elf treats.

"So let me get this straight. You call the elves midgets, give them hi-5s, order food like you come here every day and they still serve you with abnormal zeal?" Isa asked Sirius.

"It's called the Black Charm, Isa." He said, winking which made Isa blush just a little. Of course she hid it instantly. And of course he saw that pretty blush before she hid it so well.

After a few minutes Sirius asked in his annoying smug voice, "Like the match, Red?"

"Yes. It was spectacular." replied Lily, shortly.

"Good. Good." He said, smirking.

Lily put her spoon down and looked at Sirius pointedly, indicating him to explain the 'Good. Good' reply.

Sirius ignored it and went on to ask what he was _just dying _to know.

"I see your wearing a familiar sweater, Lilykins. I wonder why would you… owww.. Fuck, James. What the fuck is the matter with you today? Leave my leg, alone!"

If looks could kill Sirius would be cackling through the halls with Peeves by now.

"Err…" Lily instantly looked away and stuttered nervously. She fidgeted with the black scarf around her neck and tried to mumble something.

"It's…ahem…fine, Lily" James mumbled back, trying to amend what his _best friend_ had caused.

"Yeah. Erm…ar..mm… I just thought it would show… unity...inter-house. I mean," she gulped nervously realizing they were of the same house, "Head boy and Girl Unity."

"That" James coughed "was good thinking."

"Good thinking, indeed" piped Sirius again.

James was going to throw his _best friend _off the astronomy tower.

"I said the same thing to Lily in the morning, when she was frantically searching your sweater, James." added Isa in a seemingly nonchalant tone.

Maybe they could both go together and throw their best friends off the astronomy tower.

Before anyone could make the pair any more nervous, Remus stepped in, like that good man that he always was.

"I think" he stressed looking at Isa and Sirius, both of whom were bursting with comments "It's getting late. We should head back."

Lily and James were the first ones to get up.

"Guys, don't you two have to go to the head's room?" said Peter politely wondering why the two were walking with them towards the Gryffindor common room.

"Oh yes. You _two _have to go the head's room" smirked Sirius.

"Alone" added Isa in a merry tone.

Merlin, why were they friends with these people!

After a few exchange of glares (Lily and James), smug, suggestive smirks (Isa) hi-5s (Sirius) eye rolls (Remus) and non committal smiles (Peter) they departed in separate directions.

Boy, wasn't it going to be an awkward walk.

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Lily had the nicest ass. He couldn't stop staring at her hips as they swayed temptingly in front of him. He hadn't realized before that she was wearing dark denim shorts that were indeed short and which gave her legs and her lovely ass, a whole new dimension. Of course there was the _'Potter' _written on her back partly covered by her long red hair. Merlin, his _wand _was getting out of control now.

Lily walked nervously, very unnerved by James' presence behind. She knew he was looking at her and, shockingly, she found herself not minding it one bit and instead wondered meekly if he liked what he was seeing.

If only she knew just how much he liked it.

"Er…congrats on catching the snitch, James" she said, wanting to break the increasingly uncomfortable silence.

"Thanks" he mumbled distractedly. He thought how different his name sounded when she said it.

"And the thing you did in the end that was so… reckless, James. What if you'd gotten hurt?" she asked without realizing how concerned her voice sounded.

James' heart skipped more than a couple of beats. He found himself tongue-tied and breathless. He loved this girl and here she was, dressed in tiny shorts and _his _sweater with _his _name on it, worrying over him.

"I wouldn't have crashed, Lily. Don't worry. I've been playing quidditch for seven years. I've known how to fly since I was five. That helps build strong reflexes, good control an… oh fuck!" he yelped having walked right into the shield of a suit armor.

_He saved himself quite impressively from crashing during a quidditch match but managed to be a dim witted ninny while walking with the one girl he wanted to be charming for. Just fucking perfect!_

But his inner rant died down when he heard a small sound that seemed like the sound of little Christmas bells. It was Lily. She was laughing. Of course she was trying to be polite by covering her mouth occasionally and being discreet about it but the mirth reached her beautiful green eyes. Wow! James decided that he would readily get up every morning and walk into suit armors if this is the sight that he got to see.

She walked close to him and stood on her toes to reach his forehead. Leaning into his personal space, she moved her hand to touch his forehead to observe any bruise.

"So much for good reflexes, huh?" her voice was tranquilizing. Her smile was so broad and honest…almost affectionate.

James stared at her, not even bothering to look away. Her scent captivated all his senses rendering him immobile; her small hand sending strong electric currents from his forehead right to his toes and specifically affecting his little _friend_. The way she smiled, her red lips curving into a wondrous shape, making him lose the sense of reality entirely. He loved her. He really did. He wanted her. He wanted to hold her and touch her and keep her close to him at all times and look at her…

"James!" his Lily whispered urgently. "Someone's coming" her voice panicked.

That brought James back to reality. Lily was still standing close to him. The hand on his forehead was casually resting on chest as she turned around to locate the source of the footsteps that were nearing much closer to them.

"Come with me" he said, taking her hand in his and running towards a secret passage. He was surprised again to find that she protested neither to following him without question nor to his hand holding hers. If he wasn't dreaming then he could swear that he almost felt her softly squeezing his hand in return.

He pulled her into a corner, nudged her close so that they both could fit in and poked his head trying to see someone. It was only a minute later that he realized how close Lily was or to be specific, how she was pressed up against him. She was a tiny thing, really, compared to him at least. Not that he would ever dare to tell her that. Lily was awfully touchy on the subject of being called 'little' and 'delicate' which she directly translated as 'insignificant and weak'. It was totally silly, as far as James was concerned. He loved Lily's 5'4 frame as opposed to his 6'2 height and thought it was amazing how her soft body fit so perfectly against his bigger and broader form.

Lily could hear her heart beating inside her ears. She breathed unevenly, her breasts rising and falling against James's hard chest. One of her hands was on his chest and the other held the shirt over his bicep, loosely wrapping the fabric in her small fist. She couldn't help but look up at his face. He was so handsome. The distinctive features glowing peculiarly in the dim light. He smelled so good too. She unconsciously leaned towards his neck drowning in his scent.

There was another disturbing sound. "James" Lily almost whimpered. She pressed close to him which was a very _very _bad thing for James. He could feel every single curve of her body, practically molded into his. Her small hands clutched at him tightly.

His girl was clearly terrified. He wouldn't have that now, would he?

Tightening his hold on her waist and wrapping his other hand around her shoulders, he brought his Lily still closer, if that was possible.

He was holding. He was holding her close to him with a strong and protective intent. It made Lily shudder, sending tingles in her body and making her legs squirm uncomfortably. She blushed hard feeling the heat. Merlin, why was she reacting this way? What's the worse that would happen if they did get caught? Deduction of house points? A long sermon on responsibilities that would make her feel guilty? A detention perhaps? Then why was she reacting this way? Clinging to him? Letting him hold her? Basking in the safety of his protectiveness?

But that is what Lily didn't understand. Running away from being caught was just the excuse. Her reactions…both their reactions to one another were the direct reflections of their long suppressed feelings.

"Lily" he whispered, his hot breath on her forehead making her visibly shiver. "Hey Lily, look at me." He whispered again. She shivered again and he held her closer unaware that, that was what was causing the effect. "Lily Flower?" he asked, teasingly, trying to get her attention when she continued to stare at his shoulder. The playful nickname that usually got her angry got her attention this time. She moved her face upwards and tentatively locked eyes with him. She felt weak. It was a good thing he was holding her tightly because her legs felt too wobbly all of a sudden. He had the most mesmerizing eyes…so hypnotic.

James had to bite back a groan at the way Lily looked at him with her green orbs and slightly parted lips. She looked so innocent. Hell, she was so innocent. He couldn't help it. He had to touch her. He just had to. He brought his hand closer to face and softly placed it against her cheek. His hand shivered at the contact of her impossibly soft skin. He brought her face closer to his, slowly and delicately. He didn't want to risk hurting her with his hard palms and long fingers. The green eyes making his heart ache.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Lily. Ever"

He wasn't talking only about right now. Fuck. He wasn't talking about right now at all. He was talking about … later; in the real world. He was talking about forever.

Something in her heart snapped tight. His voice was naked and honest. There was no hint of any casualness or friendly promise. It was intense and real. She looked at him without saying a word. Her lips still parted slightly.

She never realized when a tear emerged from her eyes. But she saw him moving closer and felt him breathing against her face. He slowly and hesitantly pressed his lips to her cheeks to kiss the tear away.

Lily closed her eyes. His lips remained for a minute longer than required. He pulled away but was still so close. He didn't ask her why she was crying. He didn't look surprised. He understood. He understood the need and the intensity.

Trailing his fingers to her chin, he softly urged her to open her eyes. "Lily" he breathed reverently.

Her eyes found his again. She licked her lips unconsciously and his gaze travelled there naturally. If only they would lean in just a little…

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><p><em>'I saw her for the first time and I fell in love. I saw her in the classroom and I fell in love. I saw her in the café and I fell in love. I saw her after work and I fell in love. I saw her yesterday and I fell in love. I see her right now and am falling in love. I'll see her tomorrow and I'll fall in love…all over again.'<em>

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><p><strong>..<strong>

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**TBC**

AN: I've had this almost completely written down. It actually started as a One-Shot but as I wrote, I decided to spread it across chapters. So it really wont be too long.

This story, in a way, will be a companion to the companion of Cold Black Sky. But it can definitely stand on its own.

It would mean a lot to know what you think of it. Please review.

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	2. Don't you know ?

A big thank you to all my reviewers. Your reviews are so very encouraging. They made me feel very very nice !

A big thank you to all those who added my story to their alert and favorite list. I felt great to know that people find my story interesting.

Thank you.

I'm terribly sorry for taking more time than I had initially planned, to update. Lots of others things have kept me awfully pre-occupied. Nevertheless, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

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**When she wore the Seeker's sweater**

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**2. Don't you know?**

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There was another sound that startled Lily and she clutched James closer.

Their moment was broken.

James had a hard time biting back a deep groan. His cock felt strained in his pants as Lily pressed her delicate little body. Her body heat made him sweat in the cold darkness. He _really _needed to get out… get them both out. How could this girl give him a serious hard on by just her gasps and whimpers!

"It's just the paintings." He said in a low voice. She was breathing on his neck. Bloody fucking hell!

James was walking with Lily Evan pressed close to him and she wasn't complaining or getting uncomfortable with his hand possessively around her waist. It was a miracle that he could remember the detours inspite of the wondrous smell of Lily's shampoo.

Just as he was thinking of how to break the awkward silence that had ensued since their arrival with her still in his arms despite the absence of any impeding worry, Lily gasped again, "James!"

She had to stop gasping his name. Really. He was a human being. A young hormonal man, in fact. He could only take so much. His boner was surely visible by now. If he heard "James" one more time in a Lily-gasping tone, he was going to absolutely lose it after which, he reckoned, he couldn't possibly be blamed for his actions which would involve throwing the red-head against the wall and pumping his cock in her heat, sucking on…

"James!" Fuck! Lily, would you stop, already. His mind groaned.

"There's a swelling!" she said, quickly moving close to him and standing on her toes again.

Great, Lily. Just great. First mold that hot little body of yours on a man whose been in love with you since before he hit puberty, then whimper in that innocent way, then gasp his name a hundred times till he gets rock hard and to do the do job thoroughly, get close to him again and worry over some stupid swelling so that the man completely loses his fucking mind!

Why was Voldemort the Dark Lord? This girl could seriously give him a run for his money with her severely wicked plans.

"Merlin!" the new Dark Lord went on without realizing even one percent of his misery, "you bruise like a peach, Potter"

Okay. This caught his attention. James Potter does not like being referred to as a peach.

"It was an accident yesterday, right here at the same spot. It's nothing really. Just throbs a little bit."

"What accident?" she asked suspiciously, her voice getting into her Queen-of-righteousness mode.

"Nothing. Just fooling around with the boys…" he mumbled, guiltily. Wait, why was he feeling guilty explaining this to her? It wasn't as if she were his gi…

"Fooling around? Merlin, James when would you guys grow up? What did you do?" she asked with narrowed eyed; her small nose reddening a little which happened every time she was about to explode.

Fiery Lily Evans was a hot sight! It made him want to haul her on the bed and feel her writhing beneath him. He wondered how it would feel to have her roll him over and suck on neck, biting and nibbling with the same fieriness. He would move his hands all over her body and feel her…Wait, her lips were still moving. She was still talking.

James! He berated himself. Focus, mate. Your girl is still talking. You need to listen no matter how hypnotizing her lips may be.

Okay. Now she's asking you something. Respond, idiot.

"Erm. Hmm."

Yes, very eloquent Potter.

" I mean, sure Lily. Whatever you like" he mumbled, feeling that agreeing with her was the best response.

"You're ready to stop playing quidditch?"

"What?" he yelled in distraught, as though she had asked him to donate his left arm.

Lily giggled. James looked terrified.

"I knew you weren't listening!" she said punching him playfully.

Was he dreaming? She was giggling and laughing and hitting him playfully.

"Ow.. .woman !" he said clutching his shoulder dramatically.

"It wasn't a fight, Lily. Something else." He continued, looking away. "it was just…mm…yesterday…nothing..just…"

"Remus?" she said in a delicate tone

He didn't need to answer. She mumbled something about fixing his swelling and went towards the bathroom.

Sitting on the couch he thought of how she knew about Remus's transformations and their being animagi from a very long time. She was always so compassionate and kind about it. It made him fall for her deeper. For someone who was annoyingly hell bent on rules, she told no one about their secret. Ever since they had been elected as Head Boy and Girl and received their own Dorm, Lily would wait up every full moon for James to come back. She would be sitting on the couch in her pyjamas reading a book and he would enter in bruised and exhausted, sometimes at the verge of collapsing at the door. She would help him to his room, tend to his bruises and keep his breakfast ready on the table next morning. They never spoke of those nights. The connection was fueled with silence, a peaceful silence where no words were required.

"Look up James" the voice of his beautiful drew his attention

She sat sideways; her knees bent, and leaned over with a small cotton ball in her soft hand. Drawing her face closer to his, she blew over his swelling.

He gulped.

He felt something cool over his forehead, as Lily pressed the cotton ball over his swelling in the lightest of ways.

He was breathing hard now. Another swelling, in another part of his body was reacting with an uncontrollable fervor.

His arm was behind her, resting on the couch. The sweater that she wore, which was _his, _he reminded himself rather proudly, had fallen off to one side, displaying her creamy shoulder. A thin black strap ran over her skin, reminding him again that the only thing separating _his _sweater and her breasts was her bra. A black bra. He couldn't stop staring at it.

Lily's eyes travelled to where James was looking and she blushed a color rivaling her hair.

"Er…"she began nervously. "Am sorry I took your sweater. It was cold in the morning and nothing else was there and it shows inter house…I mean… head boy-girl unity.. and.. I'll give it back to you..its…"

"No!" he yelled, then composed himself at her startled look. "I mean, keep it. Looks better on you. I mean, it looks nice on your body. I mean… Fuck !" he groaned, closing his eyes.

He was so sure he'd positively made her uncomfortable. She began giggling. He opened his eyes and looked at her, enchanted.

She was sitting next to him, so very close, trying to fix an insignificant wound, her hair falling out of her bun, his sweater completely to one side showing off more skin than she would ever intend to, her lips open wide into child-like laughter and her eyes blushing nervously.

He leaned in without realizing.

She was something out of this world and he wanted to touch her. He felt like a little boy who had always been fascinated with the unreachable fastest broom and wanted to feel it desperately.

He caught her hand in mid air and dismissed the cotton ball.

Her eyes quickly gave in and she lowered her gaze. He placed her hand on his chest and softly, almost as if scared he would bruise her with his strong hold, he pulled her in, bringing her closer to his body. He closed his eyes and drank in the scent of her shampoo. It took him a huge part of effort not to groan and bury his face in her long, smooth red locks. His other hand, fumbled in his pocket to draw out a golden chain with a round pendant. He lowered his face to her level and looked at her beautiful features; her eyes were closed, a deep blush evident on her creamy cheek and her lips were parted slightly…her soft, red lips that almost made him want to fall on his knees in a blank surrender to his desire for them. Her body trembled just a little which made his heart plunge hard.

Lily felt something cool snaking around her neck. At first she squeaked, getting startled, and opened her eyes to look at him. But he wasn't looking at her. James' full concentration lay in setting a golden necklace around her neck. He trailed his fingers along the pendent-a small round golden ball- and in doing so, the back of his hand grazed against her warm skin between her breasts. She had to bite her lower lip from gasping. Lily never imagined that one, almost innocent touch from James would make her feel this way. She never imagined that it would make her feel so much.

"You came to see me today, Lily. Just me." he said like an innocent honest boy who held his favorite candy in hand but couldn't quite believe that he had got it.

She nodded, not wanting to pretend otherwise. His voice had such honesty in it, such integrity that it made her trust him implicitly. It made her realize just how much it meant to him that she went to see only him.

The back of his hand was still pressed against the valley of breasts. He turned his hand and opened his palms to let her see the pendant.

She gasped aloud this time.

It was a snitch. His snitch. The one he caught today. He had shrunk it and put it in a chain. To give it to her.

"James !" she exclaimed, astonished.

He held his snitch in his open palm and stared at it intently. He couldn't take his eyes off the sight … the sight of his golden snitch adorning the neck of his Lily.

"James." She almost whimpered. "James, its your snitch!" she said as if she thought James had forgotten about it.

"Yes, it is" he said simply, continuing to stare at the pendant glowing against her skin.

"Do you know what you're doing?" she squeaked in a small voice, her body shivering right now.

Any seeker who caught the snitch, got to keep it. It was one of his most prized possessions which he never gave out that easily. But that wasn't what made Lily tremble. It was a popularly known tradition that the seeker only gave his snitch to the girl who he was truly in love with. It was a present, once given never to be taken back or returned. It was a claim…a seal… a promise. A promise of making her his and being hers...forever.

She wanted to cry. What was he doing ? Why was he playing with her like this ?

"Yes" the answer to her question rolled out his lips without a second of hesitation. He turned the snitch over and she saw through the dim light, faint alphabets – 'Lily'.

"Every snitch I ever caught is exactly like this. You will be the only one I would want to give this to. Every single time. My snitch always belonged to Lily Evans and will always belong to her."

She was trembling hard. He sounded so sure…so determined. It made her mind hazy. She wasn't even his girlfriend and he was giving it her. His voice…his eyes…the honesty in them… it made her heart weak. He even got her name on it. She wanted to reach out to him, wrap her arms around him and cling to him like he was the only one alive. Then again, he was indeed the only one alive…the only one for her. She wanted to hold him, be held by him. She wanted to bury her head in his neck, close her eyes and breathe in his scent. She wanted to forget everything else and lose herself in James Potter. For the first time, she allowed her feminine delicacy to consciously take over and let her hand crawl to his chest, weakly grabbing the fabric of his shirt in her small fist and looked up like a scared little girl. Her eyes were desperate, begging him not to play with her thoughts.

"James, please" her small voice cracked with emotion, her lips quivered and eyes moistened.

James placed his hand on her cheek to bring her closer. His arm moved around her shoulders and trailed lower to settle on her back. He held her strongly, insistently, trying to convey that she would always be safe with him. His handsome face broke into a smile. But it was a smile she had never witnessed before and it left her breathless.

He smiled in an open surrender, making her realize that he was more vulnerable than she was and that he was not going to do anything to hide it. He wanted to let her know that.

Her eyes roamed over his face, mesmerized by his features. But it was his eyes that made her lose it completely. She looked into his deep eyes which made her realize that her fear of falling in love with him was of no consequence anymore because she _was_ _already_ in love with him.

Her face lost all tension, her astonishment and desperation disappeared, only to be replaced by a blank look of acceptance. She looked at him in open admission, not hiding her vulnerability or the emotion in her eyes; that emotion, which James always wanted to see and which she had been trying to hide for so long- the emotion of irrevocable love.

She remained still, waiting for his next move. He could do whatever he wanted to and she wouldn't stop him. They both knew that. He could hurt her…break her in that one moment and she would shatter into pieces without fighting back.

She was in love with him. And she would accept whatever he gave her because it was 'he' who was giving it to her.

He leaned forward to press his lips to hers.

She froze, petrified.

Her lips were a drug to him and the first taste gave him an instant high. He wasn't even kissing her yet. Their lips were pressed together, joint in a perfect fit. He breathed in the same air as hers and that itself poisoned his senses to lose control. Just one touch of her lips and he felt every single perverted, dirty and forbidden desire creep into his mind. As each second ticked by, he found his desire turn into an irrational and urgent need; a need which if not satisfied would make him lose his fucking mind.

He wanted to taste her. He had too. It was too painful.

Very softly, he moved his lips over hers, nibbling and sucking. A groan escaped his throat and his hands tightened around her body drawing her still closer. Her breasts were squished against his hard chest. She was practically in his lap, obediently following his touches; her small form completely engulfed in his strong arms.

He traced his tongue along her lower lip once, experimenting a taste. His hand moved from her cheek to rest hotly on her exposed shoulder. She squirmed in his lap, trying to control the sensations between her thighs and moaned aloud. He took that opportunity to move his tongue inside her mouth deepening the kiss.

The slow, sensual kiss turned into a heated teenage snog. His tongue stroking hers, was a like a trigger to her own desires and she threw her arms around his neck, plastering her body to his and kissed him back with every ounce of passion she possessed. It took him a few seconds to get over the sudden shock of Lily's response after which his own arms brought her impossibly closer. He was sure his grip on her body would leave bruises but he couldn't help it.

In the next minute a series if things happened in a flash.

They broke apart gasping for breath, staring intently at each other. The look on James's face instantly made her feel hot and moist between her legs. He looked at her in a clear intention of wanting to ravish her. Without asking for permission he got off and placed his hands beneath her neck and knees. Carrying her bridal style he moved towards her room. She wound her hands around his neck and pressed her lips to his neck, ears and cheek in innocent kisses. He growled kicking the door closed and almost threw her on her bed and climbed over her. Before she had a chance to moan at the feeling of his entire body pressed against hers, he had latched his mouth over hers again, this time like a man possessed by lust and open desire.

His hands were everywhere and she whimpered beneath him. The hard palms traced her impossibly soft thigh, gently squeezing and stroking. His other hand moved along her waist and stomach, reveling in the intoxicating feeling of her skin that was exposed when her … _his _sweater had ridden up. Placing one knee between her legs, he parted them and settled comfortably; the evident bulge of his pants pressed insistently over her covered core.

Fuck, he wanted more.

Pulling away from her mouth, he ignored her disappointed sigh and rained open mouthed kisses on her neck and shoulder; biting, licking and sucking till she was positively squirming under him. Her panties felt wet and she found herself wanting something that astonished her beyond belief. She wanted him to touch her. More. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, feel his muscles flexing under palms and his tongue over her body. The intensity of the desire frightened her and she thought she needed to stop him before things go out of hand.

Her hands reached the bottom of his shirt to pull it off his body.

Lily moaned, her eyes unblinkingly staring at his naked chest. He was so… beautiful.

"James" she moaned, looking up him. Her arms raised like a small kid urging him to come closer.

His heart throbbed in his chest. I love you, Lily. I love you. I love you. I love you. His mind screamed over and over again but the words were caught up in his throat, constricted by an unnamed emotion.

"Lily" he gasped, reverently hoping that, that one word would convey to her his sentiment of absolute devotion for her.

He kissed her again, his hands getting bolder. He traced the curve of her breast and the insides of her thighs. Bringing her leg around his waist, he grounded his erection over her core deeper. Their clothes were increasingly making him angry. In one swift motion he brought both her hands over her head and wordlessly peeled his sweater from her body. His hands and mouth were everywhere after that… rubbing her stomach, stroking her waist, licking and sucking the tops of her breasts, biting, nibbling…

Her lips were close to his ears and he could hear the smallest of noises she made. Lily made such cute, lovely sounds…the effect of which went straight to his cock making it throb painfully. If she continued to moan and mewl this way, he would be forced into losing any amount of restrain that was left in him.

The night was dead quiet except for the sounds of heavy breathing and sheets ruffling. His groans and her whimpers filled the air with an essence of pure physical lust.

Trailing his lips along her jaw, chin, throat, neck…moving tortuously slow and deep, he reached to the tops of her breasts suckling hard and moved finally to her shoulders, biting her soft flesh. She groaned. This time he could swear he heard the faint sound of "James". Fuck !

Taking her bra strap between his teeth, he lowered it off her shoulder. The action was simple but it made them both shudder. He was going to see her in a further state of undress…was going to touch her some more. Lily bit her lip nervously. Her hands travelled over his smooth chest, feeling the bumps and pecks of his muscles and settled over his belt. Fumbling weakly, she looked up at him nervously, almost terrified.

Her green eyes flashed the emotion of absolute trust. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and stroked her skin with his thumb.

In the silence of the night, lying half naked beneath James, completely covered by his equally naked form, being held in his arms, Lily's lips curved into a shy smile and her eyes lowered in a deep blush.

And that is what made James' stop.

Her smile…it reached her eyes, lighting up her whole face. And her soft blush… fuck! She was so innocent and pure. She was in love with him. If he was unsure before, he wasn't anymore. He didn't feel that way because she had allowed him to touch her so intimately, he felt that way because she allowed him to see her naked emotions so openly; an act that was far more intimate than physical touch.

Lily looked at him, confused. He seemed so conflicted. What was bothering him ?

"James?" she asked in a small voice.

He closed his eyes and she felt like he was having a serious inner battle.

Her hand moved to cover his which rested on her cheek, and she lovingly stroked his wrist and fingers.

He opened his eyes and looked at her with a silent plea, as if requesting her for something. She would gladly granted her request had she known what it was.

He shook his head and bent lower to kiss her forehead. His lips remained pressed against her skin for a minute longer as if deriving strength from her.

His eyes found hers again and stuttered, "Lily, we…" he gulped, "we…Lily"

"what's wrong, James?"

Be a man, James, he thought to himself. You know you have to do this.

"Lily, we should stop" he said in one breath.

Her hand that was on his belt, was immediately pulled away like it had been burnt. It made James' heart hurt inside. But he had to do this. He had to do this for her… for the both of them.

"Am sorry. I cant.. we shouldn't. Lily. i.. please… Fuck !" he mumbled, talking in broken words.

Lily adjusted her strap and suddenly felt very self conscious. She was fighting hard not to let the tears escape her eyes.

Oh god ! no ! He was hurting her. He could see it. She looked so…rejected. No, Lily please. He silently pleaded. His mind was so messed up, no coherent words came out of his mouth. He moved to kiss her cheek once again, but she turned her face away.

"Lily. Am…" he started again but nothing seemed to make sense.

"I should go" he said in a low defeated voice. His hand stroked her hair and he kissed the side of her forehead despite her refusal to react.

He picked up shirt and left the room.

Neither of them slept that night.

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X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

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He didn't see Lily the next morning, nor in any of the classes. He aimlessly walked around with his broom and went to fly, missing a couple of his classes too. The partial relief of feeling the cool air of the sky was short lived when several girls stood below the ground and admired him, giggling and trying to get his attention, flirtatiously. On other days he would've entertained them for fun but today was no ordinary day. Lily's essence was still on his body, on his lips, on his mind…

He walked to the great hall for dinner. He wasn't hungry at all but he didn't want to miss the chance to see if Lily was there.

"Feel better?" asked Sirius in a low voice. James had told Sirius what happened the day before. Well, not _all_ the details but a fair gist and like always, Sirius was there for him.

"Yeah" James mumbled.

He ignored the deathly glare Isa, who sat opposite to them, was giving him. So, Lily must've told her what happened.

"Isa, cut it out" Sirius said.

"No Sirius, I won't! Potter can't just sit here like everything's fine when Lily has been crying for god knows…"

But James wasn't listening anymore because his attention was totally drawn towards the girl who had just entered.

It was Lily and she looked horrible. Not her appearance. Oh, she looked beautiful as always… but her eyes. She looked down right hurt, exhausted and defeated.

But even her eyes weren't what caught his attention.

It was her hand that was being held by one Mathew Adams, who was standing a little too close to her, smiling broadly.

In that one instant, James Potter knew what it meant to have a broken heart.

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><p><em>I love you. Don't you know?<em>

_I want to touch you. Don't you know?_

_I want to hold you. Don't you know?_

_You're the only one on my mind. Don't you know?_

_My heart has only you're name. Don't you know?_

_Don't cry, my pretty…_

_I know you're hurt._

_But I'm hurt so much more. Don't you know?_

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><p>..<p>

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**TBC**

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AN: It would mean a lot to know what you think of it. Please review.

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X.X.X


	3. AN

Author's Note :

My Dearest Readers

I haven't abandoned this story nor is this on hiatus. My other story – Dark Nights, Darker Knights is also very much in progress. The next parts are actually more or less written. I am having a very hard time with so many things going more than just wrong. I understand that this is a poor excuse and a good writer should be able to handle such things but right now I cannot bring myself to write anything…not for another few days at least. I'll try to upload another chapter soon though.

Thank you to the people who read and subscribed to me and my stories. And a big thank you to people who reviewed. They mean a lot. Truly.

Hopefully, I'll be back to being my usual self soon.

Until then

-clanmei


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